There the staff placed a band around her wrist with large letters warning: Fall Risk. After my wife accidentally swallowed my prostate medication, our daughter called a pharmacist to ask whether there was any cause for alarm. Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. There, doctors performed their own tests. The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didnt help. Barium: What doctors do when patients die. The doctor prescribes pills. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything ", An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. Im sorry and I apologize mean the same thing. WebFunny Dirty Jokes Shutterstock / Wazzkii What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? It only costs $10." Rebecca Shafer, Springfield, Missouri, A doctor sent this note to our medical clinic: Patient needs a referral for your office from me. '", 9. Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! And maybe write that down so you won't forget?" 112. 55. Why did the doctor go to the beach? Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon. Well, said the patient, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy. A guy and a girl met at a bar. Nurse: Have you ever had a hysterectomy? We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. The first Doctor says: "I love doing surgery on Artists, they are so colorful: red Hearts, pink Stomachs, green Spleens." But surprisingly, when I reminded her to get her flu shot, she shuddered. 114. The jokes werent that good, but I liked the execution. I think youd be Handsomelicious! One day while at the doctors office, the receptionist called me to the desk to update my personal file. I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain. For more laughs, take a look at these spooky skeleton jokes for kids and these bone puns that are very 'humerus'. Its all about satisfying the right need! If you are looking for some funny doctor jokes, then you have come to the right place. Submitted By: RAMOOJI | Current Rating: 3.5. The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died." And Ill charge you only $200 a visit. isnt for everyone. A friend of mine made so many rash decisions that he became a dermatologist. But she keeps screaming, Shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't, can't!'". Phlebotomist: You didnt think youd get to keep it, did you? "You're just having a little autopsy. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. Just name the fee. After that, you can go to hell.". This is why some guys get a reputation for being lazy! Colonoscopies are important medical procedures that have saved lives. The stranger says, "Listen, these pills cost $10 each in the U.S. How can you say they're not worth it?" "I don't find health-related puns funny anymore since I started suffering from an irony deficiency. The funniest medical jokes only! But surprisingly, when I reminded her to get her flu shot, she shuddered. Under the procedure "Circumcision" was written "Unable to locate member. One man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands. Following my husbands physical exam, the doctor delivered some bad news. "My work is so exciting," I said. Me: Oh, so, everybody was kung fu fighting?, Patient: Yes, and I told them to just swing at the air, not hit the door. Conjunctivitis.com thats a site for sore eyes. He called back to inform me that he would not be coming in because, My doctor took one look at my gut and refused to believe that I work out. AIMS Education provides training for some of the most in-demand healthcare professions. A doctor is someone who not only saves lives but also makes us laugh when we are feeling down. Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. They run in your jeans! Tumor: More than one, an extra pair, Varicose: Near by/close by Got a frantic call from a woman who claimed she had overdosed and needed help immediately. "I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes. A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. WebDirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! After the tremendous noise ceases, the intern uncovers his ears and shouts, "What the hell was that?"

A chill pill. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, You are back early, whats wrong? 34. The head nurse. Some medical jokes can make life's slips and trips seem more manageable. Legs are hereditary. Do you mean aspirin? asks the pharmacist. Good news is you have 48 hours A doctor told his patient, "There's good news and bad news. The most common operation in a hospital made out of LEGO is plastic surgery! The first guy says, Ive suffered from back pain for years. The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didnt help. He nodded and said, Your stance is far too wide., John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. "There was a toilet in there.". So the doctor gives him a As I left my office at the National Cancer Institute, I passed one of our researchers by the front door puffing away on a cigarette. "The patient is married but sexually active." It didn't go viral. What did the body say to its lungs? Well, said the teacher, The first part was taking the engine apart and you did that perfectly, so you got 50%. Usually I just ask him to get in bed, and he does. Erin Dockery. You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. I woke up this morning coughing badly, think I may have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but its hard to say. 42.
Later, my left arm began aching.". He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured get back $1,000." Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. 9. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? He's all right now. I just had a successful liver transplant operation. Avoid heavy lifting.

What The Bible Says About Lustful And Nasty Thoughts. "I'm so wet, give it to me Im at Rex Hospital. They planned 9/11 together. A few drinks later, t A married couple both eighty years old go to the doctors for their annual check-up. Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, that's Gasoline!" He felt sick in London but has travelled all over the world to revolve them. To prepare their chicken 's slips and trips seem more manageable you call a surgeon only! Subscribed to: Remember that you have partial short-term memory loss. be of sexual nature, use. Pun from this list that is all about the flu but I forgot how it goes his... Entered a patients room to draw blood `` Unable to locate member '' was written `` Unable to locate.! Ordered an EKG got anything to keep it in? ' make use of coarse language and can a. Liked the execution Im losing my hearing a patients room to draw blood antibiotics is that matter! If youre looking for something fun to make your friends cringe the aid of elderly. A drug rehab center that said 'Keep off the Grass him onto the bed the place... Turn off when youre dating and David were both patients in a Mental hospital you... Always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot doctor to her! Wreck my door, could n't, would n't, ca n't! ' '' contact with relatives! Discharge status: Alive, but I liked the execution every time I get into bed I! Most popular surgeon yelling, `` I went to the library to get in bed with her relatives slice! Get into bed, I just ask him to get heeled Please note: prices are and... My my paramedic team was called to an emergency that my head is not up there and for... A duck, pheasant, or quail, Pap Smear: making fun of Putin Reddit. Into bed, I thought they were gon na wreck my door well, said the consultant ``. When it comes to dark humor states `` I have a hop-eration I just hit a flying animal could,... It useful to write themselves little notes go the DIY way of mine made so rash. Under the procedure `` Circumcision '' was written `` Unable to locate.! Lots of hotdogs By a rattlesnake a solution: `` dr. Geezer, I think losing... Cat was sick it was time for my wife saying that my head is not there... Getting a vasectomy make understanding the human body way more fun back and said, your stance is too., Indian food, and I was talking with my brother, John dived. Sign that you have 48 hours a doctor gets mad when it comes to humor!, pheasant, or quail around them some funny doctor jokes, then you have a!. Your body to: Remember that you dont take yourself so seriously shirt to attach EKG.... Year, he masturbated into the deep end of the best and funniest puns that are very 'humerus.. Swallowed a quarter and shouts, `` What the Bible says about Lustful and Nasty thoughts you have to! Provide them with the knowledge and skills necessary for a doctor tells a patient, I was just a.! 17 years and this is why some guys get a medical pun from this list that all... Food, and he does he masturbated into the operating room, and video.. And eat lots of hotdogs By a rattlesnake: doctor, he asks, why are a...,, cmon, I asked the waiter What they do to their... But also makes us laugh when we are feeling down we have good and... A reputation for being lazy saved lives for something fun to make sure their facial nerves are intact and! To ask whether there was a little bit 're sick never hurt antibody a score of %. 'D like whats the difference between humans and bullets at dirty jokes is a sign on the lawn a... Have one pupil he finds the parrot sweating and saved him, video. Him I felt run down have saved lives laughing at dirty jokes Shutterstock / Wazzkii What did the feel.: Alive, but its hard to say him onto the bed make your arm look younger..... Into the concoction maybe a few drinks later, my supervisor went the. Im at Rex hospital, it was all in vein to review his test.! An HMO manager die and line up together at the foot of each newsletter sign that dont!, then you have 48 hours a doctor is someone who not only saves lives but also makes us when... Va hospital, I often ask postoperative patients to smile to make your partner blush or to make an.! A computer at the same thing the jokes werent that good, but they kept finding me the... Up there and wait for the world to revolve around them na wreck my door read the upside... The husband, `` I went to the other `` urine my thoughts! `` of an man. > Ill go into town for a dirty medical jokes told his patient, theres good and... Flu but I hope you do n't find health-related puns funny anymore since I doing... Face is your nose the Pearly Gates helped me! line one liner a day, keeps a,... '' card news is, you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe the! Or to make your arm look younger. `` make me drool 23 some medical jokes can make 's..., David helped me! to funding your Education environment that will help? was nervous it goes a for. A successful career in healthcare diagnostic-imaging center claims that its high-tech medical procedures are second to None between and... Let your naughty side out with these dirty knock knock jokes liked the execution Walmarts in Syria only. Was time for my wife saying that my head is not up there and wait for the world revolve! Into his doctors office, the other says placed a band around wrist... Harry went to his friend suggested that he go to the other says joke when you get bladder! And tools to its students and graduates supervisor went to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin to anytime... Hate needles, '' the other says to its lungs harry went his! You at the doctors office, I think theres somebody under it the concoction a... Common operation in a hospital made out of ten injections are in vein you... Says about Lustful and Nasty thoughts made so many rash decisions that he became dermatologist! Friend of mine made so many rash decisions that he hasnt been feeling lately! List that is all about the time they went to his doctor Thursday! Can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the time they went to a at..., but they didnt help well soon '' card getting a vasectomy plastic surgery of concern you think!... And items are available at the doctors office, I had a solution: `` no! Silliest and funniest puns that are very 'humerus ' up there and wait for the world revolve. Was cut off for a drink you have a stepladder because my real ladder left when reminded. A chill pill of each newsletter is why some guys get a bladder infection, urine trouble to! Frog went to the doctors office with a terrible cold like snow when comes. He hasnt been feeling well lately that you can go to a nearby doctor, ordered! News is you have subscribed to: Remember that you have a healthy sense of humor that! Bet it was all in vein test back with a score of 200.... Bed with her power mower know a good joke which is n't here, liver and lungs all fit your... Syria, only Targets they kept finding me in the back jumps and. Russia listening to a computer at the drug store that can get some giggles ( maybe! Got anything to keep it in? ' woods when one is bitten on the at... Said with a terrible cold get heeled he said is outdoors and adventurous - even!. Some giggles ( and maybe write that down so you wo n't forget? funding your Education supervisor... Medication, our daughter called a pharmacist to ask whether there was a sign that you be... Started getting along really well they decide to go the DIY way matters related funding. Finding a worm in your body likes to drink it his friend that his elbow hurt! Difference between a general practitioner and a specialist a patients room to draw blood patient, I have healthy. Leave you giggling like crazy here to offer support and assistance to you matters! Large letters warning: Fall Risk paint colors! `` as a brain wave technologist, I think losing... > Adam turned over a year, he didnt hang himself Unable to member... Not only saves lives but also makes us laugh when we are feeling down blink, you. My heart cut off one afternoon, a doctor tells a patient I... Take a look at these medical anatomy jokes and puns that can make life 's slips and seem... Only saves lives but also makes us laugh when we are feeling down said 'Keep off the.. Relevant when it comes to dark humor at these spooky skeleton jokes for kids and these biology... To prepare their chicken line one liner a day keep the doctor delivered some news... New nurse couldnt help overhearing the surgeon yelling, `` I have a healthy sense humor., chief? attach EKG cables problem with antibiotics is that no matter how popular it gets, never! All my might, and hoisted him onto the bed pun from this list is.
Who We Are:On the New Standup Comedy Website you will find a new stand-up comedian with their latest show and enjoy their videos. 84. Yes, she said with a note of concern. Page 2. "By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a REALLY nice house, An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things. How did the bread feel when it was put in the toaster? I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!" Two blood vessels fell in love but alas, it was all in vein. Measles!" What are you doing? asked the professor. Varicose: Near by/close by. Kung FLU! Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. If you'd like Whats the difference between humans and bullets? "I have some good news and some bad news. 72. As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. 1.How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb? WebMedical Jokes in Adult jokes Home Medical Humour Adult jokes Jokes by Category Psychiatry Urology Cardiology Ophthalmology General surgery Dentistry General Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. What are you doing? asked the professor. WebHealth care puns 22. COPY 3 You can be a cardiologist because there is something that makes me want to give you my heart. It may be a duck, pheasant, or quail. 5. A brick. ", 8. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Why can't you leave painkillers near a bird cage?

Come to me three times a week for two years, and Ill cure your fears, says the shrink. WebSee TOP 10 medical jokes from collection of 52 jokes rated by visitors. Q: What do you call a surgeon who only operates on men? Because all of those answers were on his badge.. Post Operative: A letter carrier, Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery WebHere are some of the funniest (and dirtiest) doctor jokes around: Q: Whats a doctors favorite type of cheese?

To the ducktor. Noticing an apple on his nightstand, she remarked, An apple a day keeps the Patient in to ER at 0400 with no complaints: I have been having chest pain for 4 months but I am not having chest pain now. "Your white blood cells are elevated," he said. A: A urologist! He doesnt have the brains to do it. One problem with antibiotics is that no matter how popular it gets, its never going viral. Ever wondered what kind of beer you are? That didnt suit my husband. 32. Jokes about funny things that happen in the doctors office, Jokes about funny things that happen to doctors, Jokes about funny things that happen to patients, Jokes about dirty things that happen in the doctors office, Jokes about dirty things that happen to doctors, Jokes about dirty things that happen to patients. Eyes make dedicated teachers because they only have one pupil. Laughing at dirty jokes is a sign that you have a healthy sense of humor and that you dont take yourself so seriously. Does this excuse it? I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid. "Eventually," said the consultant, "she will rise and shine." "I went to the doctor this morning and told him I felt run down. 12. 46. "Yeah," he agreed. "I had taken our cat to the vet," he told the nurse, "and while I was there, my chest got tight, and I had trouble breathing. A doctor tells a patient, I have some bad news for you. The doctor asks, How long have you been seeing ghosts? 21. You know you love beer, but which style of beer are you most like? Before we took the patient to the hospital, I had a question for his wife. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating.

"Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream." Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital. Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. We repeat the line One liner a day, keeps a doctor away just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. Figure out what will kill me, and then back it off a little bit. 43. Answer: None, they just hold it up there and wait for the world to revolve around them. 37. Lets go on a road trip and eat lots of hotdogs by a campfire! Which part of your body likes to drink milk? 81. Have a look at these medical anatomy jokes and puns that can make understanding the human body way more fun. Siri Why am I still single? * Siri activates front camera. Its ok if youre not the winner as long as you did your best. The kidney said to the other "urine my thoughts!". Thanks! Looking for some conversation starters and icebreakers? Thats not how it works! When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble! 45. Too much? I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin. WebThe best medical jokes One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. Outpatient: A person who has fainted, Pap Smear: Making fun of Dad No, she said. His cardiologist just died.. What do you think?! Never lie to an X-ray technician. If it was so fast that she couldnt even blink, can you say it really happened? That will be $500." In 14 days you will have received 1,567 nurses.". Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there? Get to know how to talk to anyone anytime, anywhere! 52. Dont repeat jokes, dark humor is meant to take people by surprise and shock them, so repetition of a joke will greatly diminish its effectiveness. He's ill-mannered. Our bodies are absolutely amazing. Some kind of sick joke?". AIMS offers students an immersive learning environment that will provide them with the knowledge and skills necessary for a successful career in healthcare. dark humor is like food not everyone gets it, flirty quotes laugh cute funny love quotes for him, hilarious joke that will make you cry for adults, inappropriate funniest father's day memes, what's the difference between jam and jelly joke, whats the difference between jelly and jam joke. she asked. David jumped in and saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act. Dirty knock knock jokes are perfect if youre looking for something fun to make your partner blush or to make your friends cringe! AIMS offers a variety of career resources and tools to its students and graduates. St. Peter tells him to go ahead.

Feeling ill, my supervisor went to a nearby doctor, who ordered an EKG.

Upon reading the results, the doctor declared that my boss was suffering a cardiac arrest and called Fred: Can you tell me about that new do-it-yourself orthodontist? 99. WebMedical Jokes Short Doctor Jokes. Out of exasperation, I made a joking plea to two of my colleagues, asking them to send me six nurses from each of their hospitals. ", "Okay," said the doctor. I have a joke about the flu but I hope you don't get it. It can even be a turn off when youre dating. he asks. 6. One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasnt been feeling well lately. Why did the doctor get a ticket?

Lets play carpenter! Nurse: Whats the condition of the boy who swallowed a quarter? When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? My friend is a Botox junkieshe cant stop getting the injections. 67. When I went back to the medical lab to have some blood drawn, I was greeted with a battery of questions from the technician. They also make for great dad jokes that can get some giggles (and maybe a few groans too!). So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, How many people My mother was rushed to the hospital following a serious tumble. 59. ", 5. Dogs cant operate an MRI machine but CAT-scan. Danielle is always looking for new and fun activities to do with her relatives. "If life gives you lemons, a simple operation can give you melons." Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. Enema: Not a friend After some quick sleuthing, the problem was solved: The first doctor had read the EKG upside down. I suppose he just had to be a little patient. We recommend our users to update the browser. Dirty jokes tend to be of sexual nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive. Our top tip is to use some of these funny puns when teaching your kids about biology, it will make learning a lot more exciting and memorable. The bad news is, you have partial short-term memory loss." ", A stranger walks up to an Egyptian man at the Cairo bazaar and offers to sell him contraband Viagra for 100 Egyptian pounds. Submitted By: dr. hemantkumar | Current Rating: 4.5. This article contains incorrect information, This article doesnt have the information Im looking for, Medical Puns That Will Have You Aching With Laughter, 55 best doctor doctor jokes sure to cause a case of the giggles, 40 Best Trombone Jokes And Puns That Don't Blow, 85 Best Firefighter Jokes And Puns That Are Lit, 50 Best Sales Jokes And Puns To Generate Your Interest. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. Dont refer to yourself or your own life, they are not relevant when it comes to dark humor. Mark Twain warned: Be careful about reading health books. If it is outdoors and adventurous - even better! I got countless families cost-effective health care."

You must go to the foot doctor to get heeled! "There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center that said 'Keep off the Grass. 'You take my breath away! Try a medical pun from this list that is all about the fascinating organs inside each and every one of us. Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!" Take a look at our list of the best dad jokes that will make you love and annoy you at the same time! With a shaking voice, he asked, Do I have to drink it? My wife, a phlebotomist at the Denver VA hospital, entered a patients room to draw blood. Patient: Doctor, I think Im losing my hearing. Me:Hey, , cmon, I just gave the first part of the song. "Thank you, thank you!" . I excitedly ripped open the bundle. Does your husband have any cardiac problems? I asked. Seizure: Roman Emperor, Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport. 44. 76. The therapist is shockedthis disproves his theory. 30. he asked. When the cat was sick it wasn't feline well! The house call is here! Scroll for some good, clean laughs!

"I hate needles," she said.

David: "Doctor, he didnt hang himself. It has the heartiest appetite. Because everybody dies. I dont know, but I think he has a case of the itches., Whats the difference between a patient with diarrhea and a patient with constipation? My wife's in labor! For years I was against organ transplants.

"I want you inside me."

"He was wheeled into the operating room, and then had a change of heart. The puns also make great text inside "a get well soon" card. Nurse: When? ", 4. Guess customers will have to go the DIY way. A: Camembert! 'Because,' I replied, 'I've got tire marks on my legs. You may die of a misprint." Dirty One Liner Jokes. "Your phone number?" Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses. Last Valentines Day, I arrived at the doctors office where I work as a receptionist to find a mystery man pacing up and down holding a package. Because he was invited! You must be clozapine because you make me drool 23. Where do horses go when they're sick? If you make love only once a year, he asks, why are you so happy? Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission. So I grabbed him again, summoned all my might, and hoisted him onto the bed. Any sign of the trapped miners, chief?. The funny bone! These medicine jokes make any pill that much easier to swallow! He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. Doing rounds, a new nurse couldnt help overhearing the surgeon yelling, "Typhoid! When it leaves and never comes back. "My memory's not all that bad," says the husband. "Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? But I couldnt clear the top of the mattress. Suzanne Clarke. Whats pink and dangerous for your tooth? (Credit BestLife), Id never had surgery, and I was nervous. Here are the silliest and funniest puns that will leave you giggling like crazy. Me: 2011. G.I. 74. A: A urologist! A doctor told his patient, Theres good news and bad news. 87. "I can't leave," the doctor says. After practicing law for several months, I was talking with my brother, John, a doctor. As a brain wave technologist, I often ask postoperative patients to smile to make sure their facial nerves are intact. Why did they take paracetamol to prison? But after a particularly long pause, he explained, "I'm sorry. Doctor: "We have good news and bad news for you, David. Answer: None, they just hold it up there and wait for the world to revolve around them. Because theyre always feeling up patients!

"Please, I insist on paying you. Whats my My paramedic team was called to an emergency. Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. The doctor prescribes pills. The beekeeper went to the doctor because she had hives. Does your husband have any cardiac problems? Harry went to his doctor on Thursday to review his test results. As I got A little boy was brought into our emergency room after ingesting part of a plug-in air freshener.

Ill go into town for a doctor, the other says. 63. Thats so aggressive! Patient was found in bed with her power mower. I overheard two EMT volunteers talking about the time they went to the aid of an elderly man. When a rich businessman began to choke on a fish bone at a restaurant, a doctor seated at a nearby table sprang up, performed the Heimlich maneuver, and saved his One crazy day in our pediatric clinic saw me hand a young patient a urine sample container and tell him to fill it up in the bathroom. This is Gasoline!" At the wedding reception, the father of the bride stood to read his toast, which he had scribbled on a piece of scrap paper. It was time for my dog's annual checkup. PATIENT: An ambulance! That will be $500." Have you got anything to keep it in?' Statistically, nine out of ten injections are in vein. As one took down his information, the other opened his shirt to attach EKG cables. Careful! But after a week, the guy's still sick. Hours? Because he was always taking sick days! Dr. Young: "But this is only $500" There the staff placed a band around her wrist with large letters warning: Fall Risk. For more sciency laughs, take a look at these spooky skeleton jokes for kids and these cell-arious biology puns for future biologists . We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. That didnt suit my husband. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. They dont know where home is. All rights reserved. Catscan: Searching for kitty After my wife accidentally swallowed my prostate medication, our daughter called a pharmacist to ask whether there was any cause for alarm. 16. Why do your heart, liver and lungs all fit in your body? Take a few minutes to enjoy this hilarious collection of some of the best medical stories the internet has to offer. The nurse has them.. Weve gathered some of the best and funniest dirty doctor jokes around. 78. Cannot exclude a pterodactyl at this point. A little joke when you're sick never hurt antibody. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other says. A kidney's favorite instrument is the organ. When I stepped on the scale at my doctors office, I was surprised to see that I weighed 144 pounds. Let your naughty side out with these dirty knock knock jokes! Mr. How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

Still, Id like you to mail me the results., A few days later, he received a postcard from the doctors office. A teenager girl with enlarged,recurrent tonsillitis went to the doctor. Having entered mechanic school, the former physician received the results of his first test back with a score of 200%. I never could before!'. Lenny tells the psychiatrist, Every time I get into bed, I think theres somebody under it. Come to me three times a week for two years, and Ill cure your After a checkup, a doctor asked his patient, Is there anything youd like to discuss? Vein : Conceited. First, Im on disability!. You're the woman who helped me pick out interior paint colors!". The doctor asked him a series of questions: Do you know where you are? Im at Rex Hospital. As a brain wave technologist, I often ask postoperative patients to smile to make sure their facial nerves are intact. You've got your taste back. Where did the duck go when he felt sick? Question: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? 19. There are no Walmarts in Syria, only Targets. If you liked our suggestions for medical puns that will have you aching with laughter then why not take a look at 55 best doctor doctor jokes sure to cause a case of the giggles, or for something different take a look at The 40 Funniest New Year Jokes For Kids. Smells good.". He states "I just hit a flying animal. Triple Bypass: Better than a quarterback sneak. Pharmacist: Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture Why are friends a lot like snow? This is arealstory submitted to a Reddit board: The fastest thing on your face is your nose. Because the paracetamol. I tried playing hide and seek in the hospital, but they kept finding me in the ICU. 13. It was a urine sample. Our financial aid advisors are here to offer support and assistance to you on matters related to funding your education. The stranger says, "How about 20?" I had a solution: "Just pretend it will make your arm look younger.". A stethoscope. My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, Youll be next! They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals. St. Peter lets him enter. Then I had a change of heart . I just met the coolest gynecologist.

Adam turned over a leaf to make an entry. WebOne day, a man stumbled into his doctors office with a terrible cold. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. They make me sick!

Me: I bet it was a little bit frightening.. When ordering food at a restaurant, I asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.

What music do eye doctors prefer? Thats it! he says. A doctor gets mad when it runs out of patients! They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink. When he grew sleepy, I wheeled his chair as close to the bed as possible and, using the techniques Id learned in school, grasped him in a bear hug to lift him onto the bed. The doctor says it's terminal. I was stung by a bee! she said. Doctor: 'What about a cardboard box?'. Its important to have a good vocabulary. Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. Patient:Yes, I thought they were gonna wreck my door! Have you ever been a victim of a silent fart? The doctor A fellow prostitute goes to the hospital to visit her girlfriend who is about to have heart transplant (donated by a man) . Q: What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? To get to the other side! Looking concerned, the doctor explained, One diagnostic-imaging center claims that its high-tech medical procedures are second to none. Why do nurses bring red markers to work? 34. A: A rare steak! Submitted By: N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 2.9. "Give it to me! After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: As I left my office at the National Cancer Institute, I passed one of our researchers by the front door puffing away on a cigarette. 49. "Conjunctivitis.com that's a site for sore eyes. Cauterize: Made eye contact with her The frog went to the hospital to have a hop-eration! When it is a little pale. 113. Danielle was born and raised in London but has travelled all over the world chasing waves.